I have been terrified of turning 40 for many years now. I am still emotionally raw, recovering from an externally emotionless divorce. I was telling my gal pal about my fear of turning 40. She said that we could have a 40th birthday party and that she hoped to ask me at my birthday party how I was doing and that I'd say "I'm 40 and I've never been happier". So I am going to attempt a journey to 40, I have 11 months left. My 40th birthday is March 15, 2011, I want to find a way to be happy and single. Just me, happy with me.
So, what am I so afraid of? Well, being single, being old, being alone, aging ungracefully...wrinkles, menopause, cellulite, poor health.
So, with that all being said, I am working on "Bucket list" items. Doing things I have been interested in doing, I'm not sure I have a bucket list per say, but some of the things I have done, since my divorce in September include, skiing and running a marathon.
I went to a weekend ski trip with my singles ministry group in Riudoso, NM. I have never been skiing before in my life. I must say that I hate, HATE being cold. I took an hour long group ski lesson and could not wait for the lesson to be over because I was really getting it. Well, it turns out I was a natural! I was going down the easy "Blue" slopes without problem, I stumbled but I did not fall. -Not once. I plan to do this again soon! Well, okay, next winter.
Next, in October, I was approached about running the Bataan Death March at White Sands, NM, we practiced three times a week slowly increasing the distance until the actual race on 21 Mar 10, Our all girl team got FIRST place, we came in at 5:54 and the five of us, Violet Femmes, were awarded large medals!
I only have a few other things on my "to do" list, because I just have not thought of that many yet. But, some of them include Sky Diving, I have parachuted many times before, but never free fell from a high altitude. I would also like to learn to belly dance, and generally any other kind of dance, but specifically belly dance. I also want to learn to Scuba Dive. I am a very good swimmer and have snorkeled in Hawaii that gave me the bug.
Most of my bucket list includes travel. That limits me financially. But, in the immediate future, I plan to go on a 10 day guided Christian tour in Israel with my Christian Church group.
For now I intend to blog about my journey to 40 and how I can do this and generally become a happier person. I intend to do this through a stronger Christian walk and setting personal benchmark goals.
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