01 November 2012

All Saints Day


It was almost 8pm, I realized I missed Bible Study as I was walking toward my room; I peaked my head in Heidi’s room and was surprised to see her sitting on her bed and not at the Bible study.  I told her I guessed she missed Bible study too.  She said it was cancelled; no one was in the mood for it after what happened.  She said she heard he was a Navy Seal, they thought they might be able to save him.  I remembered hearing the Forward Operating Base (FOB) intercom announcement a few hours before, calling all the medical personnel to standby for wounded who are inbound.  

Every time I catch my breath and I wonder who it is, an American? an International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) Soldier? an Afghan Soldier? a child?   

Shortly after the initial announcement, while I walked to the laundry point to drop off my dirty laundry, the intercom announced they needed A- Blood donors.  I felt a chill and immediate dread; it must be bad.  I thought of all those emergency room television images.  Our clinic is not a fancy hospital, it is only meant to stabilize a patient until they could be transported to a larger hospital.  I could not be of any help I am a different blood type.  The only help I could provide was prayer.  I started praying immediately.  After dropping my laundry off I looked in the direction of the medical clinic, I wondered again who it was, I prayed again.  I prayed for God to wrap His loving arms around this person. 

I felt very sad to know a Hero died, I called my mom.  I know she worries about me, but I know sometimes just a phone call can make everything seem alright, but if I told her about what happened it would only make her worry more, I didn’t tell her.  

It was around 10pm, I was sitting on my bed reading, listening to the hum of the girls in my bay chatter, when we got the final announcement for the ‘Ramp Ceremony’, the ceremony to watch as a Hero’s lifeless body leaves the FOB for his next destination.  Everyone quickly walked in small quiet groups, trying to avoid the mud puddles from the Halloween rain, out to the dark helipad to create a formation of all the FOB personnel.  The only lights were from the helicopter itself.  As the Hero was slowly carried across the helipad the formation was called to attention, and ordered to present arms, saluting the fallen Hero as he was loaded onto the helicopter and flown away.  I prayed silently to myself as I stood next to Heidi, I knew she would be praying too, I was thankful for her prayers. 

I grieved for him, I grieved for his parents, when they got the knock on the door they would beg, ‘no, not my son!’ His wife, -I wondered how many times she welcomed home her husband from a deployment, thankful for his return, but, now, this time she will have to explain, ‘Daddy’s not coming home this time.’ 

No one made a sound, just the whirling of the helicopter blades, slicing through the dark air.  The lights of the helicopter went dark and lifted off the ground and whisked the Hero to his next destination.  The formation was dismissed.  The moon was not as full as it had been a few days ago, but it lit the ground enough to make everything seem black and white.  The sky behind the moon was blackish blue polka-dotted with animated stars.  

I thought I did not pray hard enough, as I choked back silent tears, they streamed down my face, I hoped no one would notice.  I did not want anyone to think I was weak.  I do not yet know this man’s name.  But, I will find out.

29 September 2012

Girls, Girls, Girls!

I now live at a small Forward Operating Base in a remote area.  I prefer it over the larger base I was at before.  Everyone here is more 'in the moment' and wants to enable each other in a way that was not as prevalent at the larger base.  I share a large open bay with individual rooms with a bunch of other ladies.  It's a good group of girls, we have some interpreters, some junior soldiers, some non-commissioned officers and some officers.  It is hard to get used to the chatter and different music/noises each person makes.  But, I'm getting used to it even to the point of liking it.  I like knowing the people know and like each other.  We play cards and games together, or they play them together.  If I'm not playing, I like listening to them have a good time.  I am glad to have made some girlfriends while being here.  For a while, I was feeling a little isolated and did not seem to have anyone to vent with, that was really challenging.  The two ladies I have met that I consider my newest friends are strong Christian women, maybe that is why I was drawn to them. 
I like the small chapel here at this FOB, the Chaplain is Southern Baptist and a little more scattered in his message, but I really like the smallness of it all.  I have also started attending the Thursday night James Bible study group. 

God has a way of bringing His children together.

09 September 2012

Purgatory and preparing

I have had a busy year, it's over half way through... September already.  But, to summarize, I sold my house in the nick of time.  I shut the door to the past.   I rushed to Tacoma, WA at the beginning of May to join my new unit that was leaving for Afghanistan within 15 days of my arrival.  So here I sit in the middle of Afghanistan, in the middle of a war that America forgot about.  This is my life, for now.  Now I feel like I am in purgatory.

I'm super excited because I was selected for promotion finally. That's good news, but I really thought it would mean more to me because I was waiting so long for it.  The problem is I am disenchanted right now so it kinda puts a sour note to it all.

I spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.  When I return from Afghanistan I will have exactly 19 years in the service.  One more year till I'm eligible for retirement.  I'll probably stay till 22 years to maximize my retirement pay... I can do anything for three years.