Being Straight

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but dating is hard.  It's even harder as a Christian, which is exponentially harder if you are trying to be celibate.  Even Christian men do not feel like waiting.  They do not want to take the time to see if there is something there, something more than sex.  

I love sex, I am not bragging when I say that I'm amazing at sex, well, I have an amazing time and it seems as though men enjoy me.  But, in today's society, we all want it now, try it on first without the commitment.  

I want the next time I have sex to be mind blowing fantastic... because it is a shared gift with my husband.  I want sex to be reserved for one man.  Like the Song of Solomon, I want it to be sensual.

I do not want to have casual sex, I've tried that, it made me feel horrible about myself and it rarely ever turned into a real relationship.  So I believe the goal for these men was to conquer another one.  The more I've been dating lately, the more I become more steadfast in this ideal, because when it does not turn out the way I would have liked, it is easier to let go, I'm not as heartbroken.

Okay, so I may never get married again, I guess that's okay, because right now, I'm in no hurry to get married... But I want to someday, to someone that loves me.

Till then, I still have a bunch of good things about being single.  (See previous post)