Being the youngest of five girls gave me lots of opportunities to play part time mommy (Aunt) to many nieces and nephews, who most have children of their own now.
I always had a feeling that I may not be able to have kids. I used to talk about this with my High School sweetheart. Now, I have tried many times over the years to get pregnant and done little to prevent pregnancy with my ex-husbands. It caused a lot of stress for me and my first husband, I got a little obsessed with it, sought doctor assistance. We got divorced before we tried anything invasive. I never tried that hard with my second husband, he was not that interested in it. On top of that, we could never find that happy place, as a couple, that I'd want to bring a baby into. He already had his beautiful little girl, who lived with her mom, that I played part time mom with for two weeks every summer, and every other Christmas and Spring Breaks and I still love her with all my heart.
Now, I have very little hope of getting pregnant with my age and relationship status. I have been diagnosed as peri-menopausal, there's a blow to a woman fighting to stay young!
So, I woke up alone this morning, no one to jump on the bed and shower me with hugs and kisses declaring their love to me and my brilliance as a mother, no burnt toast or kitchen disaster to clean up. Just me and... Arthur, LOL, he did wake me up to tell me he was sick and needed to go outside!
I am skipping church today, because I don't want to get a carnation pinned to my shirt just because I am a woman of an age that could be a mom that and today's message is supposed to be about how a woman can be a better wife. The follow up from last weeks message, I walked out on, about how men can be better husbands.
Happy Mothers Day!
